Tag Archive: Really.Awful.Movies


Blood Feast

I’m always a sucker for this film

Really Awful Movies

Gore. For many, the raison d’etre of the genre. A good horror flick need not have it and many do not. Knuckle-whitening suspense, taut pacing, superb atmosphere, nuanced characterization and expert plotting can all contribute to a successful horror film. 1963’s Blood Feast features none of the above. But it does have gore; lots and lots and lots of juicy, squishy, stomach-churning gore! And we like gore. Thus we like Blood Feast!

Blood Feast, the first of the infamous “Blood Trilogy” writer and director Herschell Gordon Lewis made with producer David F. Freidman, is credited as the first ever gore/splatter film, and it changed the course of what a horror film could do/show. Whether that’s a good or a bad thing is up to the individual (I fall squarely on the side of the latter), but Blood Feast’s importance to horror is undeniable. Like Elvis, the film broke down…

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Drive-In Massacre

Really Awful Movies

Drive_in_MassacreDrive-Ins basically functioned as cheap motels in their peak in the mid 60s. So the prospect of gettin’ some was a draw but if you weren’t, think about it…it was a weird business proposition: a big swath of land required for what is an undeniably crappy experience.

When audiences atrophied theatre owners began to show exploitation films – like this one – which also happens to be about drive-in culture. Neat eh?

Drive-in-MassacreThe Drive-In Massacre movie poster is duplicated in the first ten minutes as a sword-wielding freak starts dispatching movie-goers. Gotta admit, that was pretty cool. However it’s followed by the classic film cliché: the zooming in on a newspaper headline.

Some bored Barney Miller-types are called into action bemoaning “every nut in town’s gonna be callin’ in claimin’ credit!”

The drive-in manager “the perfect asshole” Austin Johnson is questioned and says of his clientele, “they’re all one big zit and long hair.” He oversees staff…

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Hospital Massacre

Really Awful Movies

Hospital_MassacreThe tagline is…There’s no recovery room at…Hospital Massacre…but shouldn’t it be Massacre Hospital? It’s also known as X-Ray and Ward 13 so perhaps there were some creative differences early on.

You want back-story?! You got it! A boy leaves a Valentine’s Day card for the prettiest girl in school and when he’s rebuffed, he strings her brother up on a hat rack.

Fast-forward (as you might be inclined to do anyway because of the less than stellar performances) a few decades and she’s all grown up and portrayed by playboy model and Hee Haw regular Barbi (yes) Benton who goes in for what is supposed to be a routine checkup….and

You want foreshadowing? You got it!
Her friend David: “Isn’t this the hospital where they had all  the trouble last year? Some patient ran amok or something.”

Hospital_MassacreKetchup mistaken for blood, dripping from the sandwich of a drunk?…

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